Cars for hire that you still admire
It has been reported that Uber drivers can make upwards of $90,000 a year! $90k to drive around and occasionally clean up some stranger’s stomach juice. Considering that most of that juice would probably be alcohol it would actually sterilize your interior. That is how that works, right?
According to actual drivers, if you are in a bigger city you can pull down about $25/hour. Assuming that is true you would have to work just 4 and a half hours a day to make $40,000. So what’s the best car you could get for half of that? A car that an enthusiast could drive all day without wanting to drive it off a bridge or tasting the sweet acidity of stomach juice themselves.
Here are the Rules: Must be 10 years old or newer, Must be a sedan, Must have an asking or sold price of under $20,000
Let us know what you find!
2008 Mitsubishi Lancer Evo X MR
The obvious pick for this challenge is a Prius. Good gas mileage, cheap intermittent maintenance and more reliable than a DiCaprio performance. Unfortunately, all that makes it as joyful to experience as an Antarctic drive-in showing of “The Revenant”.
I decided to go with something a little spicier and a lot more fun than my cohorts while not sacrificing too much sensibility. While service costs for an Mitsubishi Lancer Evo MR aren’t cheap they won’t destroy your fiscal identity. The MR has a double clutch system that allows for full auto mode or when the mood takes you, instant gear changes via paddles. This prevents your left calf from cramping up under heavy city driving with a clutch pedal.
I will concede that the Lancer does suffer when it comes to cabin refinement. A lack of sound deadening, thin panels and rally bred suspension make for an...authentic experience. That being said, 0-60 in 5 flat, 300hp and grip so massive it can apply your full body weight of force back onto you in a corner. A full G… why wouldn’t you want that? Every other Uber is a ”luxury” accountant express, why not pick something different? Something fun? Something a little dangerous?
To quote the great Chris Hemsworth (playing F1 champion James Hunt) “We feel most alive when we’re closest to death”
If we make it to the destination ahead of time rate me 5 stars. If I make you smile/laugh or make your life flash before your eyes I think I deserve a tip. If we get pulled over, we are screwed...I’M NOT GOING BACK!!!!
2007 Audi S6 V10
What’s slower and way more boring than a W211 Mercedes E63 AMG or E60 BMW M5? This guy. These deficiencies make a 2007 Audi S6 the perfect sub $20,000 car for Uber. No one wants to be shuttled around in prop car (Chris) nor do they need to be shouted at by the angry ironworkers that put together the enraged AMG 63 cars. What you need is something subtle, refined, all-wheel drive and still exciting enough to tickle your inner petrolhead between pickups. What you need is a C6 Audi S6.
Most of the biznis people you pick up won’t even notice Recaro-style embossed back seats and just assume they stepped into another faceless luxury sleigh. The 2 AM kids you corral from drunk food dim sum will thank you for the rear heated seats and won’t be bothered by the crap, overly stiff ride. But the car enthusiast you pick up will see the little V10 badge on the side and this is when you get to perpetuate all the amazing exaggerations associated with this car. Its basically a Lamborghini Gallardo. Its a 4 door Audi R8. No one will be interested in the fact that your V10 has a less aggressive crankshaft, pistons, valve train and traditional wet-sump oiling system so there is no reason to tell them. You are Ubering in an Iron Man powered sedan.
2007 Lexus LS 460
Everybody who uses Uber secretly wishes deep down that they are some fancy-pants who gets to be chauffeured around in a luxury barge by a small man wearing white cloth gloves. Why not make their dreams come true by picking them up in a Lexus LS460?
This ain’t no nasty taxi. I haven’t sat in a car with nicer leather than a Lexus. It doesn’t feel like riding in a car at all, rather floating on a cloud of class. The driver has a myriad of buttons and features to play with in between clients, the best toy of all being its 4.6-liter V8 that revs so smoothly the passed-out passengers in the back won’t spill their drool all over the supple interior. And since being a full-time driver means putting mega-miles on that engine, the Lexus can be trusted to run for hundreds of thousands of miles without you ever needing to remove the plastic cover in the engine bay.
Sure, it’s not the most exciting car in the world, but people who use Uber are so uninterested in cars that they won’t know any better anyway. Chris is dumb. Uber customers don’t want to be rattled around in a cramped plastic box, they want the refinement, elegance and napping capabilities that come with a Lexus.