What is the best new obsession you can buy for the price of your Super Bowl ticket
Oh, lucky you, you have a fourth row, mid-field ticket to Super Bowl LI, valued at $8,800. Of course, woe is you, as your team didn't make it. To take your mind off football, you sell the ticket and decide to buy yourself a nice little carriage. But what to buy? Here are several options for your perusal that will tide you over until the next season, when your team will surely go all the way.
What is the best remedy for losing. Losing control. There can’t be a better way to get over a tough loss than hopping in a V8 powered wreckmobile and vaping some tires. The 240sx I’ve found has all the necessary work done to it to melt all your frustrations away. Slam that gas pedal to the floor and hear the roar just like when Dak slammed the football on the spike to stop the clock late in the 4th. Feel the car slip beneath you and hold that long slide to the left just like Rodgers’ last play to set up the Cowboy's demise. Focus on kicking the clutch pedal instead of focusing on losing by a field goal. Or, just pin it to the floor for eight weeks and watch it blow up in your face RIGHT BEFORE THE FRIKIN’ SUPER BOWL!
The current owner fitted some upgraded brakes so even if Ryan or Brady where driving, it could still stop them, even if the tires are deflated...I’m bitter.
Football fans invest a lot of time following their team. From the NFL draft in April through their team’s demise some time the following winter, the average NFL junkie will spend countless hours consuming pigskin related content. So when your team has a shot to appear in the game of games and they lay an egg in the playoffs, you need a Mariah Carey on New Year’s sized distraction. Enter British Leyland.
BL cars have a reputation for requiring every ounce of your attention during the car’s occupation of your garage. This Triumph Stag is surely no exception to the rule. The car has been sitting since 1979, which is right around the time the world’s Stag owners were complaining about water pump failures and faulty timing chains. What better way to immediately forget the sorrow of your Super Bowl dreams than to slowly peel away the decades of dust on this Stag’s body and likely uncover the mysteries of the universe while tuning the 3.0 Litre Triumph V8.
As an added bonus, there is a pot of gold waiting for you at the end of the Stag project rainbow. Stags as original as this example are appreciating quickly and with the right exhaust set up, can sound down right dirty.
No, not the ‘07 Opel GT/Saturn Sky/Daewoo G2X/Pontiac Sunbeam… er, Solstice. This was the original bee’s knees and it’s sure to get your mind off that American Football and in the mood for some fùtbol. Get ready to watch Manuel Neuer storming up the pitch and drink some Löwenbräu, dirndls or no.
While most may choose something more amicable from ze Germans, like a boring old Poor Man’s Porsche or some Bavarian schlock, this Opel is sure to turn more heads than any other coupe in this paltry lineup. Not to mention it’ll have less owners than the Packers have Lombardi trophies (although it will have a better chance of running the table). Say “guten tag” to this German beast, just make sure you peel off the rose on the air filter before it reminds you of the Rose Bowl as well. No hail marys here, more like hail Dr. Karl-Thomas Neumann.
After something bad happens, it’s best to pretend nothing happened in the first place. The British are very good at this. After suffering through the German blitzkrieg and emerging a victor of WWII (after a little help from the U.S. of A.), the British kept their lips stiff, their breakfast tea strong, and picked up their guitars to give us one of the greatest bands of all time: The Beatles.
A cumulation of Britain in the 60s, the MG MGB-GT encompassed the carefree and youthful optimism of the Beatles. It’s great for driving around in gloomy British countryside weather, which is a perfect metaphor for your opinions on the Super Bowl. It still sports the color of your favorite team, and the hard top roof over your head will keep out the rain, if not the salty tears. Little British sports cars were built to keep us happy in the saddest of times.